In the Trenches continued from page 8 expressionless, indicating they have momentarily tuned out. Tuning out is simply an indication that the child has again become distracted by some internal thought or feeling that takes his or her attention away from the person speaking with him or her. When this happens, the counselor needs to pause and gently reestablish her connection before continuing with the conversation. It helps in situations with internally distracted or slowprocessing children if we are clear, brief, and crisp with what we want to say. Searching around for the right words with children like these is a surefire way of losing them! 4. Once we are in Eva’s “service area” (once we have a real connection with her), we need to make a plan with her before she is getting dressed or cleaning up. In other words, once she is in a routine where she is typically slow, it is too late to negotiate with her. This is true for many children struggling with many different kinds of behaviors. Once a camper’s feelings of frustration, anger, and helplessness kick in, it is very difficult for him or her to be calm and rational, step back from his or her behavior, Don’t send your campers home with unpaid medical bills! Purchase camper medical insurance for your camp. 10 CAMPING magazine • March/April 2014 and take instruction from his/her counselor. Once Eva starts dressing or cleaning up, she is in what my friend and fellow camp consultant/ trainer Jay Frankel calls the “Point of Struggle.” I will elaborate on this concept in another column and show how it is relevant to many situations at camp, but for now, let’s get back to Eva. 5. The plan I suggested for Eva was to get a simple notebook (even a few sheets of paper stapled together will do the job) that would become her sticker book. Every time Eva could respond to a simple counselor request (“Get your socks on before I can count to ten!”), she would earn praise and a sticker. Given Eva’s interest in animals, animal stickers would probably create additional interest for Eva. Note: Using a sticker book has many benefits. It is simple, attention getting, and motivating. Counselors can use it to be positive and encouraging (“Hey, Eva! You can get another sticker!”), rather than negative and threatening (“Eva, if you don’t get your shoes on, you’re going to be late again!”). The stickers, while motivating in themselves, are also a means to a greater end: If Eva earned a certain number after two days, she got to feed the deer! Again, this provides counselors with a way to encourage and support Eva rather than nag her and become negative and frustrated. Counselors keep the sticker book and bring it out when they need to employ it. 6. After several days, the counselors can experiment with giving Eva two tasks to perform in a row before getting a sticker, thereby increasing her ability to work independently of her counselors. Also, some payoff other than feeding the baby deer might need to be found if, after a while, Eva becomes less interested in this privilege. If feeding the baby deer doesn’t lose its appeal, then there is no need to change the payoff. After explaining these steps to the DL, I suggested I meet with the counselors to explain the steps and Eva’s plan directly to them. I found the counselors were enthusiastic about the plan because they could envision it working (it was simple, made sense, and utilized what we knew Eva liked). I find this enthusiasm to be characteristic of counselors at camps around the country. Counselors want to make a positive and supportive impact on their campers; they often just need the tools to help them make that happen. Bob Ditter is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in child, adolescent, and family therapy. For more information about the author, visit www.BobDitter.com. “In the Trenches” is sponsored by American Income Life Insurance. Call Bill Viar at 800.849.4820 for a proposal www.americanincomelife.com Business Affiliate
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